Juz Another Gal

What else can I say? I'm just another girl!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My helmet

I know I should be studying. But I couldn't help it.

I love those tiny diamante stuff. I love them on clothes, accessories, anywhere. As long as they're tastefully used (like Levi's Ladies jeans. Slurp!).

I bought a packet for $7.90. I thought to myself, Why not decorate my helmet? After all, Dearie bought me a sticker for one side, and the other side was still empty. See the pretty pink butterfly?

I started last night. I DID want to study but... the crystals were to tempting. I've always been the more artsy fella around the house. Can't help it if I like to do such silly things.

Check out how tiny the damn things were. I had no idea it was gonna be this strenuous. Damn things weren't sticky enough and kept falling off.

After spending 1.5 nights, 2 cotton buds and my sister's nail polish base (or whatever that thing is called), I COMPLETED MY PROJECT! HA!

My beautiful nick. A nick I used since I was in Sec 2/3... that's... about 11 yrs ago. Gosh. And I'm still claiming to be a "gal". Guess deep down I'm still just that. Just another girl.

Ain't it pretty? I'm so sure that within the first 2 rides, I'm gonna have falling crystals all over the road.. or maybe if your car/taxi/bus window suddenly has a tiny little shiny thingy stuck on it, I'm somewhere in front. It won't last, but hey, at least I tried. At least it's pretty for a moment. Heehee!

Com'on! Tell me it was worth it!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Why I so like dat ah?

Dearie finally brought me up to Malaysia on Saturday. We went to Kulai with a few other bikers. Yay!

The speed was amazing. Fun! Nearly snapped my head off. Had to work hard to push my head to a position that didn’t strain my neck as bad. Great experience. I can’t wait to go again. Then again, I don’t know if he’ll ever bring me again. See how lah. At most I find others to bring me in. Humph.

Anyway, I’m glad enough he decided to bring me. It’s a step forward I guess. Only thing was he didn’t seem like he was in a good mood. In fact, up to today, he still seems pretty moody. I don’t know what is really bugging him, but I know sometimes he just has such a mood swing. He’ll just feel be typically “sianz”. I hate it when it hits him. I hate it when it hits anyone around me. Or ME for that matter.

So needless to say, these few days, I didn’t get much affection. I’m disappointed. But let’s face it. We’ve been together for nearly 5 years now. I’d think it normal for a guy to eventually stop doing these things sometimes until I remind him again. I have got to get my head straight. Stop getting all emotional over silly things. I was never the type who liked the romanticising guy. I was never jaded by all the things guys did in movies to win the girl. I made that clear long ago, so I should not expect him to be that now. But sometimes, I do wish he’d just hold me…. Just because he wants to…. Hold my hand a little longer…. Simple stuff money cannot buy……

On the way back from Kulai, it rained. The pain of the rain only hit me on the knees and shoulders. It wasn’t hard to bear. What was difficult was the cold wind.

When we were back in Singapore, we all went to Cineleisure and caught a 3:45am Mr Bean movie. I was tired, but never as tired as the riders so nothing to complain about. A few of us even went for breakfast after the show.

The tiredness from that night spilled over the next few days. I think I’m still reeling from it. On Sunday night a few of us went to the Night Safari. It wasn’t exactly the best trip I had but hey, Dearie ain’t a fan yet he still went ahead with it. Probably because his buddy asked, or maybe I sounded like I wanted to go bad enough. Who knows.

We caught The Hitcher last night. My dad won free tix from The New Paper. Ain’t a fantastic show. Don’t waste your money. Hmm.. then again, Bean wasn’t that good either….

I know my post is messy, and I’d really like to tidy it up, but I guess Dearie’s sianz mood has hit me too. At least it’s not as bad as his. It’s less than 2 months away from my exams. I am still super unprepared. I have to focus on that.

What the hell is wrong with me. How come I keep pondering over my relationship when everything is really okay?! Can I really control how I feel? I used to be able to do it but why can’t I now? I used to slap people awake if they got to my stage. I used to be the one able to tell people to wake up their idea. Damn. Now it’s my turn.

Rational as I can still be, the heart doesn’t want to agree with the mind. I honestly have no idea why I feel so confused inside. So unfocused. So in need of something. Something…. What is it?

My mood swings are getting worse. Maybe because my period seems a teeny bit messed up too. Nothing is really wrong in my life. I see people with worse problems than I do. I’ve got a job, a wonderful family, a boyfriend and enough spending power to get by. In fact, I already have an offer to make the jump after June. And chances of me taking it are at 90% now.

Don’t you think I’m just finding problems out of nothing?

I think I am. I know I am.

Thursday, March 22, 2007


I said I'd update when I got better.

I haven't exactly recovered. I managed to go to work, but felt like dying there. At least I did manage to get some things done.

Well. I didn't update just to write about me.

Today, it is about my elder sister.

Do you remember Zaki? Affectionally called Kiki?

This is his latest photo.

His mother is my sister. My elder sister.

She just found out that her husband has been cheating on her.


Those who have followed my blog closely would know how I absolutely detest cheaters. For some reason, I just cannot stand it.

I do not think it would be right of me to go into the details. The thought of my lousy brother-in-law wronging my sister is sad. My sister converted to be a Muslim because of him, amongst other sacrifices.

What did the husband do? Go with another woman. He splurged all his money on everything except his own family (son, parents, etc). Did you know that my parents and his parents pay for a lot of their bills? Everything about kiki... everyone is paying but him. Mind you, his salary was not low.

He was not around on his birthday.. whenever he was having a good time playing, he never cared to even take a look... he was never around to bring kiki to school or classes... I dare say my boyfriend has spent more time with Ki than that lousy man.

I don't know how my sister feels towards him. I guess she still loves him. Easy for me to say leave him.. if it happened to me, would I? Not so long ago, I couldn't even bear the thought.

That lousy bitch knows my sister is married to him. I've seen her blog. She calls her names. WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE?!?!?!



Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Warded in Clementi

Oops. Sorry for leaving you people hanging.

Yes, the answer was revealed by Leonard. Kudos to you!!!
Just shift the 2 up and you get 102 become 100!

I'm actually still recovering from a bad bout of gastric flu. Got it from Dearie. Sigh. Monday evening through the night to the early morning of Tuesday had me vomitting several times.

Now... at least I can type something on the compy. I slept the entire Tuesday through. My mummy only woke me up for a few bites of porridge and bread in between. The longest I was awake was when Dearie came over to see how I was. Then my fever came back and I dozed off soon after... all the way till this morning.

My MC ends today so I have to be back in office tomorrow. I also made a promise to clean up my boss' desk before he came back from his leave so that is one major push in getting me back to work.

Meanwhile I need to study more. Revision classes start on Friday. Die-die must be well.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are showing in theatres already rite? I'm sooooo going to have to watch it. Childhood heroes. haha!

I hope that Dearie comes over later. Maybe we can catch more episodes of Heroes. Super addctive show. Like Prison Break. Mmmm.... Wentworth Miller was on a GAP advertisement on Sunday. Mmmm...

I'm still a little dehydrated. Weak, probably because I barely took any food in.

Gastric flu is CONTAGIOUS. So if you know anyone who has it, stay away. I got mine from Dearie so.. no surprise there. On Saturday night halfway through my long-awaited KTV session, he was shivering so bad. His fever reached 40.7 when we managed to drag him to Thomson Medical Centre. Whopping bill of $97.85 but worth it cos his attention was immediate. No queue. Immediately given a bed to lie down in, and a jab to make it all all right.

Ok. This entry seems really mixed up huh? Cos I am all mixed up inside. Lots of air in my tummy. I can feel it just rumbling about making me feel pukey. Blech.

Gonna take some rest now. Will update when I'm better.........

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Trick Question

This is not a "qian bian wen da ti".

See the equation below:
101 - 102 = 1
How can you move only one number such that the equation becomes correct?

1) No changing of the signs - and =
2) No blanks on either side
3) MOVE one number. Not exchange with another. (that would be two numbers shifted)

Only 1 person managed to solve it. YL. She is a freaking genius I tell you.

On the other hand, my sis and my student took so long to get it even after all the clues were given. In fact, even after the answer was revealed. HAHAHAHA!

It took me 2-3 clues before I got it. Damn.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Need for speed

Last night, I understood something.

The adrenaline for speed is quite an amazing “high” indeed.

I met this guy for the first time – he picked me up from school to send me home. I know I know.. it’s a very short ride back. It was really more to see each other face-to-face after chatting online. The ride home was a bonus.

The last time I sat on a sports bike was at least 6 years ago. It was a short ride of less than 5 minutes. Some class 2B bike. I hated the fact that I had to bend down so much.

Last night, I bumped into Dearie at the library. I said tata to him before I went to met this new guy. Funny hor? My dearie didn’t seem to care that I was running off with some other guy on a bigger bike. Fine. Either he is super confident of himself keeping me, or he trusts me so much, or he believes no one else will want me? Hahaha!!!

I met him at the school gate. I already warned him I am not accustomed to sitting on sports bikes, and he also warned me that I’d have to share a seat with him. I didn’t understand why till later.

I squeezed onto the seat of his CBR900 while he adjusted his gloves and sitting position. I put my hands on the tank, and off we went. Once we hit the road, he zoomed so quickly I thought I’d fall off from the sudden acceleration.

This is one of the reasons we shared the seat. Had I sat on the pillion seat, I would probably really had fallen off. Sharing the seat meant I was “locked in”. More secure. The best part was, I could almost sit upright. He was the only one bending.

He dropped low on corners. I thought my jeans would’ve gotten a tear when I got up. He’s an experienced rider so I really trusted him. If there’s anything I learnt about sitting on a bike, it’s that you have got to trust that the rider will always keep the pillion in mind. And for that, the pillion must fully trust what the rider is doing. Move your body with his and trust him to know what he is doing.

Needless to say, the ride was super fast. When I got off, the adrenaline rush stayed with me for a long while. Even thinking about it now makes me want to go at it again.

The feeling is completely different from that of sitting in a fast car. One of my online friends has a fast car too. There is a certain rush when he hits the turbo thingy but damn, you just cannot compare it to what a bike can do.

I don’t dare to take carnival rides, but this I dare. How odd. This is so much more dangerous. I could never let me parents know…

Then again, Dearie is aiming to get the R6’08. Hmm..

Can’t wait for him to save up enough to get it. Now I understand his desire to get a bigger bike. It is really a lot more stable – and fun.

I got home and told Dearie about the ride home. All I had to tell him was that this guy rode a CBR, is past 30, and is an old member of the bike forums. Dearie immediately told me what his nick was.

What the hell?!

I found out later on that they had been in a bike outing before and so have met too! Singapore… really tiny island hor? Why I never get to go bike outings I still don’t know. But like I said, I’ll wait my turn. To go Malaysia, that one I know it’s dangerous, and until he is prepared then I’ll bug him. Within Singapore….. I still think I can go, but hey, I did say that he needs something of his own. Like how I have my own band things, he should have his bike thingy.

Though… my new friend may be able to bring me along anyway… hmm…

No hurry I guess. Not yet at least.

Oh. Did I mention I am supposed to be concentrating on my prelims now? Yep. They are ongoing. 2 papers on Monday, last one on Wednesday. In April I’ll be having revision classes up to 4 times a week, with each weekend having full-day classes. In May and June I will be taking 4 weeks off just to study.

And yet here I am thinking about everything else.

I’m screwed.


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Same ol' same ol'

Dearie doesn’t care if I meet up with guys one-on-one. It’s funny how with my ex, I wanted him not to care, and with Dearie, I want him to care so much I focus all my attention on trying to make him give it to me.

Trust me. I know how dumb it is. The more you beg for attention, the more it’ll elude you. If you do get attention, chances are, it ain’t gonna be anything good.

I just do not understand why I behave in such a ridiculous way. He needs his time to go do his guy-bonding kinda stuff. And I need my time to do my own things too. So why should it be any different? Surely I do not expect him to report every small movement to me?

What the hell is wrong with me sia. All these never mattered before. My insecurities are eating me up. Never mind. I’m occupying my time so I don’t bother about him so much. Like that then he’ll automatically come and find me. I think. Hmm…

I think I mentioned already. I met up with 2 online fellas from Wholivesnearyou.com. Glad to say these 2 seem normal enough. It’s nice to know I can call on them to meet up for a meal/drink since they stay so nearby.

Unfortunately for myself….. I have to study for my prelims. Sigh. Tonight is paper 1. Next 2 papers on Monday (yes, 2 papers in 1 day), and the last one on Wednesday. After that, it’ll be an intensive April where every weekend will be full day revision classes in school. May and June will be the FINAL exams.

Oh my goodness.. every single day I crawl closer to that day……. I just cannot wait….. I want to be able to go out any time, anywhere with anyone. I want to catch all the shows I want. I want to learn everything I want!

SO MANY THINGS I WANT! So so so little time…

I’ve been studying a bit everyday since last week. Still, tonight’s paper is going to jolt me into reality – that the little bit I do everyday is too little. I just flipped through the past year questions and realised I wouldn’t be able to fill up 1 page per question, let alone 3 pages.

Well, whatever. It’s the prelim. Good enough that I’m going to try.

Did you feel the earth shake yesterday? I only felt the second tremor. A slight vibration. Interesting!!! Why I didn’t feel the first one? I was on the ground floor. Couldn’t tell the earth shook.

Oh oh. I finally went into my Friendster account after a really really really long time. Damn, I had a 2005 photo in there as my primary photo. Updated it at long last.

Sigh. A lot of work to do lately. Never ending pile.

As for band.. it’s come to a standstill. Our wonderful alma mater doesn’t seem to bother if we exist or not. Issues need to be settled, but we can only do that a little later. It’ll be quite a battle. Very tough on the current president. But never mind. All of us old birds behind to hold up, I’m sure all of us can do it together!

Every time I think about life after June, I’m so happy about the freedom. But I also cannot help but remember it is the time when Dearie will need to find a full-time job. It’ll be a time for me to see how he fares. All he can think of now is saving enough to do all the things he wants: lasik, Yamaha R6, etc etc… Nothing wrong with that. Not like I don’t have my own plans.

Next year, this time, I’ll be asking again what he sees in the future for the 2 of us. If he is unable to give me a reply as to whether he hopes to see us eventually settle down by XX (age), then………. I’m not asking for a firm answer. Just some form of indication he has thought of it, and is planning mentally, emotionally and financially for it.

Anyway, that is for next year lah. No point thinking about it now. Just enjoy what I have I guess. And mug mug mug for the damn bloody exams.