Juz Another Gal

What else can I say? I'm just another girl!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Longest break ever

For the first time since this blog started, this has probably been the longest break.

Needless to say, I have been caught up with loads of things going on.

One of the key things driving me nuts is the D&D preparations.

And that is seriously enough.

On top of this I have yet to prepare for my trip to Germany (exchanging for Euro, packing winter clothes, etc). Not only do I have to fix my own schedule, at work I have to make sure my boss' schedule is ok - cos that is afterall what I do for a living!!!

I am exhausted. I don't want my body to fail me once the D&D is over because I need to be fit for travelling.

But I know I can pull through this. I've been through harder things before. I have to do this. If only to at least prove to myself once again what I am capable of doing.

Weekends are my only escape from this madness. Just some short walks, a good movie, a simple meal... good enough for me...

I feel so guilty for being so happy with him that I don't spend enough time at home. Having said that, most of the time it's not a matter of choice. Every weeknight I look forward to coming home in time to at least see my parents before they turn in. But alas, it's almost impossible till after all is done.

And by then, I'll be flying off to a foreign land and will only be back next year.

I find it really hard to balance everything. I'm so lucky that my parents are understanding and probably do not blame me for my lack of time at home. They may not be happy about it, but at least I do not hear them complaining to me about it.

Some days I really contemplate moving out. Force me to do my own laundry and housework and ease the load off my mummy. That would at least erase a large chunk of the guilt.

I hate being so dependent - because I'm already 26 and should by now be able to fend for myself out in this tough world. And yet here I am.. Cosily tucked into the only home I've known for 26 years.

I'm messed up.
Perhaps it's the tremendous stress I'm going through.
Perhaps I'll get to sit down and think through properly once I'm back from Germany.

Perhaps perhaps perhaps..

I've probably never experienced such a high level of stress at work before for a prolonged period of time. This is my first. Where the responsibility is truly mine.

I cannot afford to screw this up.
It is my one chance to show what I can do.

Time to shine.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Too much to do

I don't understand how I can be so busy with everything. There's always such an amazingly long list of things to do. Never-ending.

Been working late quite a bit last week and this. I even had to be back in office on Deepavali. Still, I managed to watch Avenue Q last Thursday.


I loved the show. Hilarious. The soundtrack is on loop in my head now. Who won't laugh at songs like "The Internet Is For Porn"!

Anyway, Quantam of Solace this Thursday. WOohoo.. Need to leave office early.

I have so many plans. SO much to do.

Next on to-do list:
- Gather winter clothing
- Exchange EUR
- Get the D&D going
- Buy a nice long dress
- Practice for next flute performance (next Fri!!!)

Ah. so much to do. Too much.