My regular ranting

I do not like it that Dearie falls sick more often than I do.
[This is plain because he doesn't take any effort to exercise or keep himself healthy enough.]

I do not like it when he displays his lack of discipline (eg: Heavy rain so didn't go school).
[Laziness at its worst. I know people who work their asses off in the day - regardless rain or shine - and still go for classes, and have to take care of the family. All he has to do is study. His flexi job only requires him to work a few times a month - each shift 4hrs!]

I do not like it when he claims he's tired - when he was sitting at home playing game or sleeping the whole day.
[Because I was probably working for more than 8 hrs that whole time he was doing "nothing".]

I do not like it when he said he was tired yet manages to go home and play another 3 hours (or more) of games.
[If so difficult to go out with me then maybe just don't.]

I do not like it when he doesn't even attempt to save money.
[Because it doesn't give me any sign of planning for the future.]

I do not like it when he doesn't tell me things - even when I ask.
[This one makes me wonder if I am even in his plans for the future - if there are any. If there's no reason to stay, why should I?]

Bottom line: I do not like being taken for granted.

I'll only be around for as long as I can. If you don't do anything to earn "me" (my attention, effort, etc etc.) don't expect anything in return.

Clearly this post is for pouring out what I feel. He doesn't read my blog so he wouldn't get hurt.

Maybe someone should be devil's advocate and tell him just how a boyfriend should be? Because it's obvious he's not have had any training in this role.

Sigh. More and more he resembles my dad. At least certain parts from what I see and hear from my mummy's stories. Only that I would believe I have the modern version.

Since I did post the bad stuff (only some ok? Not comprehensive one), let's see what good stuff I can conjure...

I like it that he gets along with my mummy.
[Probably one of THE most impt things I look out for.]

I like it that he brings me to his family gatherings.
[He's not afraid to show me to his many aunts, uncles, cousins and grandma lehz....... that's amazing.]

I like it that he knows how to play with Ki such that Ki actually likes him.
[It's just adorable seeing him connect with kids. It's a gift.]

I like it that he is more knowledgable than I am in areas I'm weak in.
[I need someone I can learn stuff from. Where I'm good at one area, he should complement me by being good with something else.]

I like it that although he may not seem very responsive, he actually listens to what I talk about and remembers.
[I truly believe that not many guys will do that.]

I like it that he doesn't smoke or gamble, and that he can't hold his liquor.
[Can't help thinking that this is another plus point along with "getting along with mummy".]

But amongst all these things I note down in this diary, I still love him...
Indescribable unlike all the things I manage to list.
It's just a feeling... one that only those who have felt it before would understand.