Why am I so freaking pissed off?

I feel like a walking time bomb.
I have not been my regular cheerful person. When my friends call, they hear me as monotonous and have an underlying tone that says "Don't mess with me".

Maybe it's because I'm not well. Maybe it's just a mood swing. Still doesn't give me an excuse to snap around at people. The only safe people thus far are my parents and colleagues. Though I did somewhat lose it in front of my boss earlier today. hmm..

What is causing this frustration in me?
I think Dearie got it the worst. As usual. But it could be precisely his indifference to my mood that makes it so.

I think by the time I get well, he'll still be complaining about his headache or stomach ache or something. He could do something about it - like eat and sleep properly, or take his medication but nooooo... his World of Warcraft proves too important. Fine. I already knew that. Just that I told him this Saturday's the pig's (my younger sis) 21st birthday and there's a dinner and party going on, and that if he ain't well, he wouldn't be able to go.
I didn't hear any cheers, but he certainly didn't seem to care less.
He's not well, so he didn't go work. At least he still went for class. Better not complain broke, cos little does he know I'm finding it extremely difficult to keep my float of $500 in the bank.

Girls do not like to feel dispensable. Girls do not like to feel as if they're an ATM, bank or object for physical affection. I know damned well he doesn't treat me as these (solely) 'cos of other small little actions he does every once in a blue moon (no, no gifts, no nothing, just gestures - but enough for me) but it'd be nice if he could just do something to cheer me up when I'm down. Wouldn't it be worrying if I had to find someone else to do that?

My friend's birthday presents and gatherings... I've been the one doing all these. I've enjoyed doing them but it's like a task that everyone seems to assume I'll take up. They throw in the money and I'm supposed to settle it.

One day I want to feel appreciated you know?

I think it's just that I've got to the point where I've had enough. I need a time-out. Want to stop feeling so damn taken for granted. Like I'm always going to be there to help settle whatever needs to be done,

YET

I believe these are not the only things bugging me, that these are actually quite surface. I continue to search for what is this point of frustration that has triggered such fierce reactions lately.

Such a selfish revelation of myself huh? Not like my friends like YL haven't had to tahan my incessant whining, etc...

I am still not well, but I can't wait for the KTV session Chang has planned for Thursday. I will shout my coarse voice off sia. Maybe after that I'll feel better. Maybe that is all I really need.