Here comes that time of the year again

The 2 of us have made up, but I still can't help feeling somewhat pissed off.
- Maybe because when he came over, he was pink in the face, and had alcohol (beer) in his breath - and mind you he reached my place at 8pm in working attire, plus he is NOT a drinker.
- When I wanted to snuggle with him a little more, his phone began ringing and he said he had to go pump petrol. Again.
- He's got plans this Saturday again and they don't include me. Supposedly planned some time ago.

I know i know. Trust him.. right? I don't understand why it should be so hard for me. I mean, I've spent a considerable amount of time with my colleagues too.
The petrol thing is not something new. This time I've met the people he goes with.
And him having plans on Saturday isn't something that hasn't happened before - and I've done it before myself.

So again, what is my problem? I'm trying to diagnose this. It seems that this pang hits me at the same few points of a year. And it is bloody irritating. I can talk to him about it, but I must come up with some sort of action plan so that when the question""So what do you want me to do?" comes up, I have an answer. Thing is: I don't.

I would assume that perhaps a little gesture from him (eg: presents, flowers, a surprise, etc) would be nice and could appease me for quite a while. But you don't ask your own boyfriend: eh, give me surprise leh. Do you?!?!?!

I take a little comfort that he's telling me upfront this time. This means I have 3 more days to plan what I intend to do this Saturday. Up till now, it's jam packed already so no problems for that. Sunday afternoons are for flute practice so perhaps I'll only see him on Sunday. We'll see about that.

Meanwhile, I can only hope a little bird flies by his ear and whispers my thoughts to him.
Follow my heart and not the mind. That's been the advice from the oldest of days.
But how long I can keep to this advice I don't know. It is a reality that if it is taken for granted that I'll stick around forever, I will disappoint - for walking away is always an option. And it is no secret how to stop me from going down that path..

How is it that I can suddenly become so needy of attention and affection once again? The possessive and green-coloured monster in me is putting on its horns again to do the annual show it does. This time I'm going to control it. I have to.

How should I explain to him what I am feeling inside? I do not want my friend to have to be the one to convey to him what I want. It's not right. And it's a burden on my friend. This is the communication that I suck at. I simply have no idea how to tell him. What am I supposed to say?