Hurt

Wow. I didn't realise I didn't post what I wrote previously. Oops.

Guess it's too outdated for me to put it up now.

I bought some clothes from a factory outlet called Bebe in NY. All of them for my 2 sisters. Guess they didn't like it - 'cos they've been sitting in my room all this while. Total damage, S$285.45. It doesn't hurt when people don't like what you get them, it hurts when they don't bother to at least accept them. So now I've got an expensive bunch of clothes I don't know what to do with. Sure, I may not have picked out their styles correctly, but surely you can at least take them to your room and stash them aside?

I honestly thought the clothes were quite wearable. I would wear them if they had my size... turns out my sisters prefer the cheaper clothes I bought for myself.

I know I know. Trivial matter. But even the strong have their soft spots.

At work, it wasn't any better. My boss hit my achilles' heel hard. She didn't know she did till she noticed how badly affected I was. Basically I didn't do a good job with the arrangement for a workshop happening this week. Although I'm very unfamiliar with the item, I admit I could have done a better job if I didn't get so distracted by all the other miscellaneous stuff I've been busy with.

Anyway, for those who know me, or have followed my blog from day 1, you would know that I can be very strong when I meet all sorts of problems, but for me to feel emotionally vulnerable to hurt, all I need is a non-validation of what I do. Once I'm told off by someone, or something I'm proud of is not being accepted/validated by the person I'm doing it for, I get depressed.

If not for my colleagues being around yesterday evening, I would have cried my eyes out. And when my mum reminded me again about the clothes, I felt a thousand needles poking into my heart, trying to break it into pieces.

None of these people had any intention to hurt me, and I know it. But I guess this is just me. I can be very resilient to a lot of shit that happens but something small like this can just break me down in an instance.

I'm looking forward to Family Day this Saturday. It'll be time away from my boyfriend, but time with the family is always good too.

I have a good life, and I always tell myself that. I would say that I am quite contented with my life, but lest anyone thinks that I will simply lead a stagnant life from this point forth, I will not. I will continue to strive to learn as much as I can, become better at whatever I do, and try new things whenever I get the chance. I need to balance my time between family, friends and boyfriend.

Lots of birthdays in July.
In fact, a lot of things happening in July. It will be a very tough month. Keeping my fingers crossed to get through it in one piece. No more midnights in the office pls.....