I'm ok. Really.

It's dumb isn't it? Getting jealous over bike outings. Still, I can't help it. If I can't be a part of any of these outings, then I'll continue feeling this way. I can't change how I feel. It's not like I don't want to go, but it doesn't seem like I'm welcome so... forget it. I can find activities to fill my time. With approval or not.

Lichen asked: If I'm so unhappy, why bother being in the relationship?

I'm not going to let something like this be the basis of a break-up. I may not be the happiest person when such crap is thrown in my face but heck, I'm not that miserable either.

I know he needs his space. And I also know that I'd rather like him ro ride and try things now than later on be too old to do them.

See? I'm level headed and rational too. I'm not that blind.

Still, these feelings in me... I cannot stop them. They are just what makes me a girl. Or rather, a girlfriend.

And to add to that, bottom line is: I love him. Now, how to you ever rationalise that?! I wish I knew. Haha! I'm here to make this relationship work, and I believe he will too (with a bit of coaching with my friends and his).

That still doesn't mean that I am not dumb enough to succumb to everything he does. I still have my principles and stuff, so yes, I can be blown off. Like I always say - Na De Qi, Fang De Xia (Dare to take, dare to let go). Just don't test my limits.

Dearie's still basically a good guy. Like anyone else, there're the good and bad. That does not leave me out. I've got my flaws too, and it's just because Dearie doesn't have a blog that you don't see it already.

V-day's around the corner. I don't seem to be feeling anything for it. Perhaps because this weekend we're going to be studying in school. Much much much needed studying. After that, he's probably going into M'sia again. Thank goodness I've got my own friends and will be going St James for a tiny farewell thingy.

On 14th Feb... My only plan is to work as usual. And plan for the CNY celebration happening in the office. Loads of work lately just keep piling up. I'm beginning to topple.

So that explains the no-v-day mood. He don't bother, I don't bother. No point getting hopes up. I'd rather he just treat me better and sweeter everyday. Hug me a little longer. Look at me and tell me how he feels.. Give me a little peck just because...... Always hold me close whenever I'm there.....

so simple..... yet so rare......

Before, I never understood those lovey dovey stuff people write/sing/act/etc about. Now... I seem a lot more sensitive to these. Funny what love does to you. And he's oblivious. Irritating. But he's a guy. That's supposed to explain it all.

And I'm just another girl. A new age girl. In love. But keeping my head level. He's never given me any guarantees. So I'm doing the best thing I can: Playing it safe.

Love is a many splendid thing.

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When I was chatting with YL, I realised I didn't add this portion:
That I am also probably jealous that he goes to many "new" places with his friends than me. Not only M'sia but Singapore too. Labrador Park, etc etc etc...

I ask him to bring me, his reply is "Next time lor".

Fine. Dun bring me? THen I go myself. Or find other people to bring me go.

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I HAVEN'T SUNG IN MONTHS! I NEED TO GO KTV DESTRESS! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!