Reason for my "mood swings"

I finally came to a realisation yesterday night before I dozed off. I understood why I was feeling more easily pissed off, and only one person this entire time managed to make me feel that way - Dearie.

I may not be the typical girl who gushes over flawless manicured nails, expect my boyfriend to call me everyday and spend an hour talking to me and me only (meaning no multi-tasking), or Brad Pitt for that matter. But I am still a simple, practical GIRL. For that reason, I am still subject to playing the ridiculous girly game where when the girl is pissed off, she does not see the need to explain why to the guy, because "the guy is supposed to know".

I understand that Dearie hasn't particularly been "trained" in this game. So while I was feeling pissed off, he was either acting blur or completely oblivious to me being pissed off at HIM! Bah. I found it abit funny at first, then got a little irritated 'cos when I logged off, he didn't even drop me an sms (the entire night ok?). Felt like crying. I didn't. Haven't in a long while.

Then it struck me. I knew what I actually needed from him - some form of acknowledgement that he still treats me as his gf. No, it's not that he doesn't hold my hand when we go out, or any physical thing. It's the emotional part.
For example, I buy him little gifts like a couple of DVDs (not expensive one lahz) and a ipod mini.. all I want is some form of THANKS right??? It doesn't have to be a bouquet of 999 roses or a bucket full of diamonds, but just some form of emotional reassurance that my effort to wear things he's said he thinks I look good in, buy him stuff he likes, etc etc... all this is not in vain. I need some sort of sign that "yes, he still wants me". Not just physically. Or hell, be it monetary. But emotionally.

From the start he's been incredible. He never needed to shower me with gifts or honey coated words all the time.. So I know that it is not like him to do it to me. I don't know exactly what I'm asking for, but I know the reason for my frustration. Maybe I'm begging for affection? I'd think so. I'm an odd one ain't I? It's not even his fault. He didn't change or anything - oh wait, maybe he did. He's been playing his games so much I don't think he needs me. If I disappeared he wouldn't even know till he realised I stopped going over to his place. Then again, on the other side of my brain, I know he's been a gamer and the importance of his gaming. So happens during his peak gaming season, I get the wave of insecurity. What timing huh?

You see? I can be very reasonable, but I still don't feel so right in my heart, mind. It's just me. What the hell.......... I think I don't want to feel like "just another one of his friends" but his girlfriend. Maybe I feel taken for granted?

In a way not knowing what I want would be good. If I knew, means if you did it, it would not be a surprise. If I said it out, it'd only mean you got no brain for yourself. This is a freaking test every girl pounces upon a guy at some point in her life, I believe. Ignore him for a couple of days till he notices. If he asks what's wrong, don't tell him. Wait till he does the correct thing for you - whatever rocks your boat - then go running to him like a good little girl. For the girl to do such a thing for attention, that "correct thing" could be ANYTHING. Yet the girl could see it as - I must do this then you finally notice I'm here ah?! Then next time do again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay. I'm going nuts.

I'm not complaining about Dearie here, 'cos I'm still young, but below is my take on how guys can get and keep a girl (since we're sort of on the topic):
I think guys must always have some sort of initiative. Not referring to the dumb game only, but always. Have some sort of opinion (not "anything" or "I don't know"). Have some direction in life. Have a firm foothold in reality - physically, mentally, monetarily, etc. Have plans. Think ahead. Save $. But also must play. Have your own life. And friends.
Actually, girls same rules bah. hahahahahahahaha....