Paradoxical thoughts

In case anyone wonders, my manager flies off tomorrow, so I won't know of how the hotel thing works out till later this weekend. Hope all goes well sia............

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This entry is beautiful. It's kind of an erotic blog so if you do not like reading "that type of stuff", please do not enter. Honestly, I thought it was well written. Like I said: beautiful. 

Don't know if it's the lack of affection I'm getting from Dearie that's making me feel for this piece. Hmm... But then again, like always, it's not as if he's done anything different. It's my ever fluctuating emotions. I want him to shower me with all that nice affection and cuddles, but yet I know that it's not practical 'cos, come on, I'm working and studying, how the hell he gonna do that?! Hahahaha...

He's officially a chiongster. After class tonight when he sent me home, he told me he's going o o. You know what that means? Yes. DOUBLE O. biangz. Some cheap drinks + bikini babe night with his guy buddies. Argh.......

I semi-flared at him just now. Probably the first time I ever spilt out so much discontent. Yet I was so controlled even then. I didn't want to use any wrong words that could hurt. It'll hurt both of us. No way. I was not about to let that happen, but I was more determined not to keep all the pent up frustration I've had over the past couple of weeks.

Work has been tough, but that I can handle. School has been stressing me out, and THAT is freaky to me. I just didn't seem to feel that he even cared at all about all these happening in my life. He went on with his clubbing, celebrating, bumming, gaming, more bumming..... like nothing at all is wrong.

But it's true. Nothing's wrong 'cos it's just myself making me feel like crap. As usual. Dearie also has his own life mahz. Ask him stay at home, don't go see bikini babe, just to make me happy? Biangz, I must be his sugar mummy if I had such power over such a hormone-raging boy like him.

I honestly honestly honestly don't want to be such a bitch, but turning all girly is just something a girl does when she needs some kind of sign that she's important in a relationship. She wants to feel like she's wanted. Needed. Loved (relationship type of love I mean). And I am, afterall, literally JUST ANOTHER GIRL.

I'm still a little pissed off, but what to do? Sigh.. Yeah.. he's THAT special.......

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On a lighter note, here's something good to look at:

Mummy bought this from the Far East Flora catalogue we received a couple of days back. I'm almost a regular customer - I get flowers for mummy, and sometimes if required for work. I absolutely love their service and I always trust their quality of flowers and arrangements. Mummy couldn't resist and ordered these orchids from the "Everlasting Blooms" series - meaning they're fake flowers. 


Not doing much justice to the flowers. They're not supposed to be on the dining table but for now, that's where they'll stay. They look better "in person". Once we put it at a better corner, you'll see that it's good! Haha! Girls may say that flowers are "useless", but really, it melts their hearts inside. (Must clarify: I mean real fresh flowers in a bouquet.) 

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I thought this entry would be longer but hey, don't torture you readers huh? hahahaha...

Tomorrow I was intending to go over to Dearie's place, but considering his clubbing tonight, I don't think he'll be awake till afternoon. And he has to work on Sunday. Hope I'll get to see him..